It seems like just yesterday we were back in elementary school decorating our shoe box “mailboxes” for our Valentine’s Day class parties.
That only makes me wonder why we do not have holiday parties anymore. The last two years of high school are the most difficult of your education thus far. It only seems fair that it is when we should celebrate.
I mean, let us be honest. Now that we are older and the weights of IB have brought upon us nothing but depression and hopelessness, we are more than ever deserving of Spongebob valentines and green applesauce on St. Patty’s Day.
And in light of today’s holiday, I would like to discuss what I consider one of the most ridiculous holidays of all: Single Awareness Day.
First of all, I would like to establish that Single Awareness Day, also known as S.A.D., is not a real holiday. Valentine’s Day is a real holiday.
Today is a day of love, a day of chocolates and roses and candlelit dinners, a day of glittery cards and red and pink hearts. Not “forever alone” singles crying their eyes out, eating away their problems with their friends Russell Stover, Ben, and Jerry.
That is just depressing.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday to celebrate love and relationships. If you are not in a relationship, just do not celebrate it. It only makes sense.
But instead, somewhere along the way a group of “forever alones” joined together to create this stupid anti-holiday.
On December 25 you do not see a whole bunch of Jewish and Muslim people crying because they do not celebrate Christmas.
Understand why I will not take pity on you when you are crying about being oh so lonely and will stay so forever and ever and ever.
You are in high school and you are trying to tell me you are going to be forever alone? That is a bit unreasonable.
So all you singles out there, instead of spending tonight on your couch with your junk food and Netflix: stop being dramatic and do something more productive with your time. Write a Valentine’s card to a soldier in Afghanistan or bake a cake.
Oh yeah, and Happy Valentine’s Day.